In my second outing for this blog, I am contemplating many comments that were given to me regarding the first. My wife said I was too judgmental, a friend said my sentences were too complex—a byproduct of me trying to convey high intelligence I am sure—and yet another commented on the idea that men are boring. It is this last that has most caught my attention and I have spent the last week researching and truly my entire adult life being aware of. Men, on the whole, given enough time, bore women.
From a man’s perspective, we see women as a conquest. We take them out, we do interesting and diverse things with them, but in the end we end up boring them to death because we are not consistent with our attention to them. They end up putting up with us making higher priorities of cars, or sports, our friends, or anything else but them. But we got them and that is all that matters right? Wrong. The real challenge is keeping them—at least the good ones. If we do not keep up our efforts, then we will lose them.
Tolerating the occasional shopping outing but falling into complete disdain after the first thirty minutes is not good. If you commit to shopping, then be part of it, comment on items of interest to her, pay attention and see what you can find that fits the woman you are with. Go to cultural events, without negative comment and some level of enthusiasm, especially when it does not fit into your schedule between football, basketball, hockey, or baseball and this will impress them to no end. Most of all, listen to them and what is important to them. This is a good way to maintain a women’s interest in you, so if that is important to you, make the change.
Whether you are with a single or married woman, she wants to do things, see things, and be out and enjoying the world with you. She needs you to be spontaneous and adventurous in ways that will excite her. If she likes food, you need to take her to interesting and unique restaurants, if she likes photography you need to take her to places that will allow her to shoot things she will find intriguing, and if she likes to shop, learn what she likes, pay attention to what she wears and find places that she has not been to before that you think she will match her style. All of the above will be fun for her, and if she is happy, you will be very happy.
Though this seems like such a simple task, we men do not make it happen often enough. No matter how much you think you are doing to pay attention you are probably not. Step up your efforts to not bore the woman you are with. For most women it is not about spending money on them, it is about you endeavoring to entertain them that catches their attention—unless they are a dolt—in which case you should run away anyhow. Learn to listen to the woman you are with and pay attention to what makes her unique, the rewards are many. Do this completely and unselfishly and you may find that the woman you thought you knew is actually someone you really want to know; and that is worth any amount of effort.
Do they want us to be spontaneous and adventurous; do they want to do things? Or do they want us to take the time to really know them, which might involve doing and being spontaneous, but also might mean something else?
ReplyDeleteSometimes assuming that all women are a certain way is just as bad as ignoring them because the game is on. Knowing a woman is better than having a plan of action.