25.65
How Old Am I
I woke up this morning to the White Stripes, some really old Johnny Cash, and a little Sex Pistols (to the chagrin of my wife), making sure that I was revved up for the day and that my testosterone was in check. On the cusp of my musical morning launch, I find myself at some unsettled or perhaps fluid age, moving rapidly towards 65 and swiftly away from 25. The issue troubling me is that I feel more connected to motivating stimuli (literally everything I see, hear, and touch), and possess an overall curiosity of the world around me that is more insatiable than when I was 25-and I was famished for life back then. I find myself wondering, who do I want to be as I move unstoppably forward, and how do I want my life to look as I go there? In this article, and in future postings, I will discuss my insights and findings on what I consider a life well lived for me and possibly the rest of us men moving forward into the great unknown.
My language, writing, and demeanor is that of someone with wisdom and a fair amount of time under his belt, yet because of my exuberant nature and willingness to speak in contemporary ways, if you talk to me on the phone I am always mistaken for someone in their twenties. If you met me in person though, it would be hard for me to betray some age that is not closely representative to my actual years lived-which is not close to the number 25. I ask myself daily, "how do I reconcile this odd balance, of the days I have lived-16,792 as of sometime today-and the person I wake up feeling like every day-the 25-year-old?" I look at many of the guys I meet, socialize with, or work with, that are younger or older than me and they are sticks in the mud. They are so all-consumed by making sure they fit into some ideal of society or are towing the line of responsibility that they do not appear to be becoming anything accept what our culture dictates to them-or more succinctly: they do not appear to live, instead it appears they just exist.
I remember as a child, looking to the adult men around me and thinking; "These guys have it made. They have jobs, cars, homes, and seem to be comfortable in their skin." Only they didn't and they don't. They were, and are still, for the majority, disenfranchised with their lives in spite of the grandiose dreams they had when they were younger. These men, from my past and present, fall into this no-man's land of embracing social conformity, shunning individuality, and forgetting that it is our job as men to force life to open itself up and reveal itself. This does not mean that we have sex with anyone that will present themselves to us for this pleasure-that is easy to make happen. Instead it is the nectar of life I am discussing, the nuances that make it individually enthralling to us to wake up every day and hunt for more. The "more" I speak of is a broad spectrum of exposure to music, the written word, abstract thought, and art both in the natural and man-made world, purposely tying us emotionally to self and those that we come in contact with. I do not want to be the guy that can only speak intelligently about sports, or cars, or modern business concepts, and misses the fact that life is happening all around me on many levels. Life is juicy and waiting for us to take giant, gluttonous bites out of it, so what are we waiting for?
How old am I? I am only as old as I allow myself to be. As I become wiser, I see myself becoming younger and the world around me becomes more vibrant. As I step into my day I remember, that I am man, and as man, I need to hunt; specifically if that hunt is for knowledge, wisdom, and humility. As the guys in Aerosmith said 41 years ago, when they were barely even 20 years old; "all these lines on my face getting clearer." In the end, I do not care how long I have lived, so long as I have truly lived.
My language, writing, and demeanor is that of someone with wisdom and a fair amount of time under his belt, yet because of my exuberant nature and willingness to speak in contemporary ways, if you talk to me on the phone I am always mistaken for someone in their twenties. If you met me in person though, it would be hard for me to betray some age that is not closely representative to my actual years lived-which is not close to the number 25. I ask myself daily, "how do I reconcile this odd balance, of the days I have lived-16,792 as of sometime today-and the person I wake up feeling like every day-the 25-year-old?" I look at many of the guys I meet, socialize with, or work with, that are younger or older than me and they are sticks in the mud. They are so all-consumed by making sure they fit into some ideal of society or are towing the line of responsibility that they do not appear to be becoming anything accept what our culture dictates to them-or more succinctly: they do not appear to live, instead it appears they just exist.
I remember as a child, looking to the adult men around me and thinking; "These guys have it made. They have jobs, cars, homes, and seem to be comfortable in their skin." Only they didn't and they don't. They were, and are still, for the majority, disenfranchised with their lives in spite of the grandiose dreams they had when they were younger. These men, from my past and present, fall into this no-man's land of embracing social conformity, shunning individuality, and forgetting that it is our job as men to force life to open itself up and reveal itself. This does not mean that we have sex with anyone that will present themselves to us for this pleasure-that is easy to make happen. Instead it is the nectar of life I am discussing, the nuances that make it individually enthralling to us to wake up every day and hunt for more. The "more" I speak of is a broad spectrum of exposure to music, the written word, abstract thought, and art both in the natural and man-made world, purposely tying us emotionally to self and those that we come in contact with. I do not want to be the guy that can only speak intelligently about sports, or cars, or modern business concepts, and misses the fact that life is happening all around me on many levels. Life is juicy and waiting for us to take giant, gluttonous bites out of it, so what are we waiting for?
How old am I? I am only as old as I allow myself to be. As I become wiser, I see myself becoming younger and the world around me becomes more vibrant. As I step into my day I remember, that I am man, and as man, I need to hunt; specifically if that hunt is for knowledge, wisdom, and humility. As the guys in Aerosmith said 41 years ago, when they were barely even 20 years old; "all these lines on my face getting clearer." In the end, I do not care how long I have lived, so long as I have truly lived.
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